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I often hear about friendships in my work with women. Some women talk about great friends who have become their lifeline in the most difficult of times while other women talk about friendships that are one-sided, absent or toxic.  The loving friendships can be a person’s life jacket in the storm; the toxic friendships can be their storm. When I was younger, I learned that the way to have a good friend is to be a good friend.  While I have not always succeeded in being on top of my game wi ... READ MORE

I hear endless statements of self-sabotage from women every day: •    I’m not very smart •    I don’t have the energy to change things. •    I don’t have any control of the situation. •    I don’t have any options—I have young children and I don’t work. •    My boss is a jerk but at least he pays me.  I have to put up with his treatment. •    I’m fat; I’m ugly; I’m…(fill in the blank) •    I don’t know what I think Stop thinking ... READ MORE

A couple of months ago, I made a family rules canvas. It's really big and has our family's rules decoupaged on top. It's kinda garish, but I like it. I'll show you how to make your own next week. In the meantime, here's what happened when I asked my daughter what our family's rules are. When I told my older daughter that I was making family rules, she had some suggestions. I really wanted to include her suggestions in my finished project, but - {ahem} They aren’t exactly the ... READ MORE

I remember when I was a kid the old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.  I can’t tell you how many times I said this very saying as a quick comeback.  I thought that the more I said it the stronger I would be and the less name-calling would hurt.  For some reason, it never quite worked out that way.  The name calling almost always hurt. Now that I’m an adult, I see the damage of words all too clearly.  I also, grow really tired of the excuses and ... READ MORE

I quit another moms’ group. Everyone was perfectly pleasant there. Each time I walked in, lovely, stylish, cheerfully made-up women welcomed me by name and included me in their conversations. I felt frumpy, flabby, woefully plain in comparison. Greeted by their perfection, I felt like a fraud. Nothing those women said or did made me feel this way. Really. Everyone I talked to was nice, smiling. I felt like I was passing for something that I’m not, and passing is exhausting. It w ... READ MORE

My older daughter's screaming is no big deal. She does it four or five times a day. What she said after that scream made my whole body go numb and the air suck instantly and completely from my lungs. “THE BABY IS EATING YOUR MEDICINE!” she cried, standing in the bathroom door. I’d been sick for a day and a half, and I’d run to the bathroom a few minutes earlier under duress, naked and still wet from a shower with the baby. “Take it away from her!” I told my older daughter ... READ MORE

In our world today, very few people have mastered the art of standing up for themselves.  After working with hundreds, if not thousands, of people over the years, I’ve found that people typically land in one of three groupings when it comes to having difficult conversations or handling difficult situations: 1.    The “take no sh*t” group.  This is the group of people who will quickly react in anger to hurtful behavior or issues of disagreement.  If someone speaks to them disrespectf ... READ MORE

I can’t tell you how many times I hear people say, “Well, if he didn’t…(fill in the blank), then I wouldn’t …(fill in the blank).  This assumption can be said about anything: •    “If he didn’t yell and scream, then I wouldn’t have to ignore him for days.” •    “If she wasn’t such a nag, then maybe I would be home more.” •    “If my boss wasn’t such a jerk, maybe I’d care about the quality of my work.” In life, people often have a way of ex ... READ MORE

One day last week, my girls and I were wandering around the Wal-Mart (we’d gone in for one thing, but it always happens) when I saw a large glass jar. As soon as my eyes met the jar, I saw a lush terrarium on my dining room table rather than big empty jar on the shelf of Walmart. What could I do but buy the jar?   The Wal-Mart didn’t have any house plants, only herbs and annuals, so I bought the jar and a couple of herbs. After poaching my garden shed, I made the pret ... READ MORE

I am busy. Too busy. Every day, I try to squeeze 28 hours worth of life into 24 hours. I cheat myself. I skip workouts because I have too much to do. I stay up too late because I want to get one last thing done before I close up shop for the night. I flitter from one task to the next, often not completing anything. I cheat my cats. I used to sit with them while they ate and stroke their fur and rub behind their ears. I don’t do that any more. Some days, I don't even remember to fee ... READ MORE